Camp

Yesterday, I returned home after one of the best weeks of my life. There, I found Jesus Christ, amazing friends, love, knowledge, and oh so many hugs. I will never forget that week. I cannot wait until winter camp and then next summer, when I will hopefully be a staff member.

I feel like just going through the days and describing every bit of it, but that would take more than one blog post, so I'll try to pick out the best parts.

First, God. I came back to Him. It really helped being around other kids who want to love God just as much as I do, not to mention the immense amount of information I learned during that week. Church truly means something now. We had two services twice a day, and now I wish it could be like that every single day. I got used to it, and even more than, I started to understand it. We learned about how to treat other people, and what things like hugs and smiles can do for other people.

Second, the friends. Becca, Juliette, Veronica, Samara, Nisreen, Lynsey, Dory, Tameem, Ben, Leo, Daniel, Nick, Michael, Joseph, Alice, and so many others. I got so close with Becca & the other girls especially. And I got SO many hugs from people. The group 4 girls and the 3-4 boys had a hugline most nights, and we'd hug other times too, and everyone really loved each other and said it without embarrassment. Not to mention they're all crazy fun, awesome people in general. Juliette still cracks me up.

Third, the experiences. I got to do archery! It was so epic. And the dance was so much fun, and Serenade Night, and the Gong Show, and jamming with Juliette in the quad, and EVERYTHING was amazing.

I joined a family for that week, and I will never forget any of them. I love God so much. I'm going to wear my cross and icon bracelet everyday, from now on.

Perfection & Challenges

There's this song I've been trying to write for a year, no joke. I must've written the lyrics to it at least ten times, probably many more. But every single time, I grow dissatisfied with it, and usually end up deleting the entire thing from the word document. The only reason I can find for this is the fact that the subject matter seems too overused, and so I cannot be satisfied with it until I find the exact words, exact chords, and exact rhythm to fit my own unique perspective on it. I'm trying it again, but I'm stuck on the notes for the verse and bridge. I can't rush it, can't ruin it. Gotta force myself to be a perfectionist.

Admittedly, I hate taking my time. I like sitting down and finishing something fast, without pause. Because if I pause, it loses some of its magic, some of its potential. But I realize that sometimes I have to slow down. Sometimes the magic has to develop.

On a completely different note, I just got back from Yosemite yesterday. I had forgotten how refreshing it is to be outdoors and away from computers and the worries of everyday life. I love it, so much that I'm likely going to a church camp next week, partly cause it'll get me outdoors.

I wanna go backpacking someday, and thankfully my mother seems up for the challenge. We'll climb Half Dome next time :) I also decided that I have to marry someone who likes the outdoors too, and who would go camping and hiking and backpacking with me. Maybe it's too much to ask...but honestly, I couldn't marry someone who wouldn't do that <_<

My sister kept saying there's no point in climbing Half Dome, asking why anyone would be stupid enough to hike for 12 hours. But it's a challenge, and I like challenges. It's just standing there, why not climb it?

Oh, and anyone who happens to be reading this, I cannot stress how much you should watch A Very Potter Musical on youtube. Even if you don't like Harry Potter, it is pure brilliance. Seriously. I cannot describe it in words.

Husband

Ever since I talked to my friend Sunday, I've been aimlessly thinking about my future husband some of the time. Not a lot, mind you. I don't wish to focus on my future as much as I usually do, because there's no day but today :) Of course, I did spend several hours researching college stuff the other day and wishing I could graduate already...but oh well. Enough of that.

I wanna talk about what I was starting to think about at those aimless moments. I never got very far beyond the fact that I think I really want to wait to date until I know it's my husband--a very difficult feat, for sure, since I am only sixteen and three quarters and marriage seems terribly far away.

Now I ask myself...why wait? Why not just go ahead and date someone if the chance comes along, and take it from there to see whether we're meant to be together or not? And that seems logical, in the old meaning of the term "date." Just getting to know the other person by going out to dinner, movies, what have you. Obviously I'll have to know a guy very well to see whether we'll really last or not. Nowadays, dating has evolved into a broader term that covers everything from that first date at the movies to holding hands, kissing, and sleeping together. But I don't wanna go that far. I don't even want to kiss a boy until I know him well enough to know whether it's right or not. Most everyone looks down on that choice nowadays, but I don't care. I know there's something extraordinary and perfect about having your first kiss with your husband.

Maybe I'm not completely committing myself to this, though...part of me says "wait and see, don't jump on board this boat until the opportunity is in front of you to actually date someone." Because honestly, there is no possibility right now of dating. Nothing. Natha. I do like a boy, but I will not let him find out. And he definitely doesn't like me back right now. I wonder sometimes if I annoy him...heh...but then I wonder that with everyone...so I wanna back off a little, anyhow. Oh well. That's fine with me. I can wait. I hope. No, I know. I'm Stephanie. And God wants me to do this, so I have no doubt that I can, so long as I agree to it fully and completely.