Sometimes Bombs Fall Quietly

I think I'm supposed to be righteous and practical, for once.

Still, I don't know what to do.

When did this even happen? Did I really set this in motion?

Maybe being spontaneous did help, for once. And maybe it didn't.

There's too many questions & too many reasons not to try.

Why

The resentment is starting. I’m not sure how to kill it. With water, fire, or something entirely different?

I was so peaceful for a while, by the snow in Julian. Surrounded by beauty. I loved it. No cell phone going off. No one yelling at each other. No one pestering me. Nothing to make me sad or anxious.

But now I’m home again. And this is here, in my mind. I don’t want to be here. At least I can just play music loudly in my ears. Maybe that will make me feel better.

Really…why. Why does it always come down to this? Why?

----

"Slow down you crazy child, take the phone off the hook and disappear for a little while. It’s alright, you can afford to lose a day or two. When will you realize? Vienna waits for you."

new blog

For anyone who's interested, the blog I actually update nowadays can be found at stephanieheart.tumblr.com . Check it out if ya like! :)

1.2.10

SUCCESS: hiking Iron Mountain & having epic awkward conversations with friends. Side-note: I have now realized how incredibly naive I’ve been for such a long time.

UPDATE: My neck still hurts. And I have this weird rash too, that appeared around the same time my neck started hoping…correlation or causation? It’s seriously freaking me out. And it’s so painful. I feel like someone’s zapping my neck every 20 seconds.

UPDATE: New plan. I like this one much better, because it doesn’t involve me sitting around waiting.