Husband

Ever since I talked to my friend Sunday, I've been aimlessly thinking about my future husband some of the time. Not a lot, mind you. I don't wish to focus on my future as much as I usually do, because there's no day but today :) Of course, I did spend several hours researching college stuff the other day and wishing I could graduate already...but oh well. Enough of that.

I wanna talk about what I was starting to think about at those aimless moments. I never got very far beyond the fact that I think I really want to wait to date until I know it's my husband--a very difficult feat, for sure, since I am only sixteen and three quarters and marriage seems terribly far away.

Now I ask myself...why wait? Why not just go ahead and date someone if the chance comes along, and take it from there to see whether we're meant to be together or not? And that seems logical, in the old meaning of the term "date." Just getting to know the other person by going out to dinner, movies, what have you. Obviously I'll have to know a guy very well to see whether we'll really last or not. Nowadays, dating has evolved into a broader term that covers everything from that first date at the movies to holding hands, kissing, and sleeping together. But I don't wanna go that far. I don't even want to kiss a boy until I know him well enough to know whether it's right or not. Most everyone looks down on that choice nowadays, but I don't care. I know there's something extraordinary and perfect about having your first kiss with your husband.

Maybe I'm not completely committing myself to this, though...part of me says "wait and see, don't jump on board this boat until the opportunity is in front of you to actually date someone." Because honestly, there is no possibility right now of dating. Nothing. Natha. I do like a boy, but I will not let him find out. And he definitely doesn't like me back right now. I wonder sometimes if I annoy him...heh...but then I wonder that with everyone...so I wanna back off a little, anyhow. Oh well. That's fine with me. I can wait. I hope. No, I know. I'm Stephanie. And God wants me to do this, so I have no doubt that I can, so long as I agree to it fully and completely.