It's been a long time since I've written on here. I took to tumblr more than blogger, which is strange, because there are far fewer people who can read what I write on the other site. Maybe I subconsciously don't like people knowing what's in my head? I know that's at least a little true.
I'm starting to figure out just how much music means to me. Songs are my blogs. My ability to make sense of what I'm thinking and put it out there for people to hear. I plan to work on putting them out a whole lot more, after my surgery.
One more week...I can't begin to explain how much I want next Friday to be here.
You see, I've never said this straight out to anyone, really, but I'm incredibly self-conscious about the way my face looks, as a result of my deformed jaw. I know that nobody else notices it. You could tell me that a million times (some people have), and it wouldn't change how I feel. You see, just because you don't know what something is doesn't mean you don't see it. People see me all the time. They're used to how my face looks. They just don't realize that it's not supposed to look exactly the way it does right now. Somewhere along the way, my jawbone on my right side decided to take a break from growing. And I notice at all. the. time. And they're finally going to fix it. I feel like leaping in a field of flowers, I get so happy when I think about it.
Because, I hate feeling self-conscious about things. Utterly and completely hate it. I like feeling confident, like nothing can touch me unless I let it.
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