!!! I'm kind of annoyed with myself. I just can't believe it now...looking back...I wish I could take all that time back. To think that God had someone like this boy--not necessarily him, but someone--there waiting for me all along. He wanted me to let go so bad. But I just didn't get it...I couldn't get it through my head...
Not to say it was all worthless. Nothing's ever truly worthless. I learned a lot. I wrote songs. The majority I realize are very stupid now though, haha. But I did learn. I suppose God still found a way to make it worthwhile and fit with His plan, even if he didn't really want me there in the first place.
And I know that I should not and cannot regret anything. That would only waste more time.
Everything is better now, thank goodness. I am so amazed by how fantastic my life is at the moment. I have so, so many things to look forward to. And this boy...he amazes me too. I don't know if that will go anywhere. But I spent a long time today just hanging out with him, and it was fun. Just even hearing him say my name makes me smile and feel so happy inside, haha. But all I really want right now is to be myself and never be afraid of being myself ever again. Right now, everything is perfect. I have no complaints, really. Cause AP exams and school don't truly matter. None of it matters.
God is perfect. And I am so thankful He finally helped me step back and let go. I don't think I've ever been happier. I feel like I'm floating on clouds or living in some castle in the sky. It's surreal. Beautiful.
10 May 2009
Castles in the Sky
Posted by Stephanie at 8:24 PM
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1 comments:
I'm so, so happy for you Stephanie. :)
I have to say, though, that every single little thing that happens in your life happens because either God wills it, or allows it to happen. If God didn't want you to be in that situation He'd have taken you out of it long ago. But He chose to stick with you, and suffer with you together, through it all. And He did it to help you grow and mature, and (hopefully this happened-) to get closer to Him. As His Word says, God makes ALL things beautiful, in His time. He's taking your failures, your wastes of time, your embarrassments, your weaknesses, and He's making them beautiful, in His time. He's making you beautiful. So you're right not to regret. You should rejoice always (as the Bible also says, haha). God is SOOO GOOD! Like, I'm only beginning to realize this myself. He is SO. SO. SO. SO. GOOD. I LOOOOVE Him. :)
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