what if?

I have this slight feeling in my chest. Like something's gonna happen soon. something big. or maybe something small. But something that has an impact on everything. random.

It's interesting to think though, how so many small, tiny things you don't necessarily think about very hard end up impacting everything that happens later on. There are so many "what if's" in life. This came up in APUSH the other day, when we were talking about the Civil War and the battle of Antietam in particular--how that battle had such a huge impact on the end of the war and the victor; and, therefore, everything that ever happened in the United States after it. No one thinks about the impact of something when it's actually happening. No one realizes until a lot later...so it makes me wonder how much the small decisions I make will impact my future. It's a little scary. We really do have control in our own lives. It's just not the kind of power we'd like to have, since we can't see the impact until much later. We just make the decision. Choose something. And then things follow....

What if I hadn't told him? What if I went to a different high school? What if my old friends still lived next door? What if....I dunno. What if I did anything differently. Where would I be right now?

And where will I end up? The future's wide open. That's both exciting and scary. There are so many possibilities...so many choices I have yet to make. I guess I am excited to see what's in store. :)

heart,

stephanie