open book

My sister's getting married tomorrow. I'm very happy for her, but I am also, honestly, happy to see her move out....when we were young (love that song!) we were really close. Or, at least, I thought we were close. But now when I look back at those days, I think it was kind of a bad situation. My sister did (and I think continues to do, though not to me) this thing where she would act really nice and kind, like we were best friends. But really she was controlling me, warping me into this other mindset, so that when she would talk about things like harry potter and makeup and a bunch of other stuff, which she hated for some reason, I would feel like I had to agree with her. So I would, at least out loud. But I really always disagreed with her...now I wish I could go back in time and make myself tell her what I really thought. I think she is one of the reasons why I was always quiet and closed up, until pretty recently when I've started getting better--at least from what I can tell. It makes me sad to think I wasted SO much of my life hiding things and feeling...cut-off from the world, almost. I was bound to explode at one point, I suppose. And that's what I did for the past couple months...but I'm over it now. I'm ready to forget all of that and move on and just be myself. I'm afraid waiting so long lost me tons of chances. I hope it's not too late.