stars and swimming

I like going outside and looking at the night sky very much :) It's so...vast and just gorgeous. One of my dreams is to, someday, go somewhere out in the wildnerness--a hill or mountain or something--where I can lie down in the grass and stare up at everything above me, without there being any noise or other light to take my attention away. I have several dreams that I know by heart, haha. And I actually finally accomplished one, which makes me so happy :) I'm not sure when I'll be able to accomplish the rest...or if I will. But I don't intend to give up on them yet.

Today chemistry made me SO mad. I don't think I've ever actually done well on a test we've had, or truly understood what I learned. I just can't get chemistry. At all. But today I also decided that I don't care anymore. Chemistry will play no part in my future, so who really cares if I understand everything? Getting a B on my report card won't kill me. And it's not like I'm gonna stop trying, but I'm just not gonna stress about it anymore. School might have some importance in life, but other stuff is more important. Like being happy and actually having a life outside of school or work or whatever it is that's consuming your time. So that's that. If chemistry ruins my happiness, I just won't think about it :)

I also realized I managed to break a habit. I'm determined not to get back into it, whatever happens. I feel like right now the best thing I can do is just keep moving forward, being myself, and trying my hardest to focus on God and whatever else will keep me happy and, well, myself. Like the whole "just keep swimming" philosophy. So yeah, that's what I'll keep doing.